


To Capture an Essence

by SiriusGetsKinky



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, BDSM, Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-01 19:56:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriusGetsKinky/pseuds/SiriusGetsKinky
Summary: Harry visits 12 Grimmauld Place after the death of his godfather and an unexpected item presents itself in front of him, leading him to come face to face, quite literally, with his grief.~~~"If he ever were to brew up Amortentia, this would be what it smelled like to him. Sirius’ scent. A hint of his favourite brand of firewhiskey, a hint of dog that had been happily revelling in the grass, and a hint of something musky that had stained various parts of Harry’s body several times (not enough times, he would tell you)."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Expect an indecent amount of smut and a good dose of angst.  
Have a look at my other works for similar content :)

It had been over two months since the death of his godfather when Harry was finally allowed to visit 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius had passed it on to Harry, this house, along with its memories – good and bad.

It felt off, not feeling Sirius’ presence there. At least not in corporal form. There would always be a part of Sirius within these walls, but not in the way Harry would ever be happy with. He would never see his face again, hear his honest advice or tell him his worst fears, earning him that sympathetic smile that told him ‘you’re right…’. Nothing would ever be the same.

Harry walked up the stairs to what used to be his godfather’s bedroom. He didn’t know if he was ready for it or not, but he knew he had to go there anyway.

As he opened the door, disappointment washed over him. Had he been expecting to see the man casually reading a book by his bed? At times he was reminded he was still a kid, and he had every right to be one. It didn’t make it any easier.

If he ever were to brew up Amortentia, this would be what it smelled like to him. Sirius’ scent. A hint of his favourite brand of firewhiskey, a hint of dog that had been happily revelling in the grass, and a hint of something musky that had stained various parts of Harry’s body several times (not enough times, he would tell you).

He walked towards the large bed, it was unmade – a legacy to Sirius’ slackness around this damned house. Kreacher would never bother with it unless specifically being told to, and you had to expect a nasty remark about blood-traitors. Harry touched the sheets, felt the lack of warmth. There had been months since the last time a body touched them. Slept on them. Writhed on them. He lay on the bed heavily, fighting the urge to cry. He had cried too much already. He had told himself he would be strong this time around, he wouldn’t taint Sirius’ scent with his tears.

He spread out across the bed, grabbing hold of Sirius’ pillow. He closed his eyes and inhaled it. It was so faint. He couldn’t even tell if the scent he felt was real or just a pity gift from his imagination. He didn’t care to know the answer either. He opened his eyes and spotted a single hair lying on the pillow he was holding. It was long, dark and curly. Sirius’. Harry caught it between his fingers like it could run away. He twirled it around, staring at it. It was perhaps the last piece of his godfather’s body he would ever set eyes on. He narrowed his eyes as an idea formed in his head.


	2. Chapter 2

A month passed by since Harry’s last visit to 12 Grimmauld Place. This would be one of the last chances for him to visit the house before he was back in Hogwarts. It would be a lot harder to get away from the castle than to get away from the Dursley’s. They didn’t care where he was, so long as he made them breakfast and kept quiet. They seemed to relish in Harry’s frequent brooding and depressed state.

Harry locked the door to Sirius’ bedroom. He took a vial from his pocket and sat on the bed. He reached for the single lock of hair that lay on the pillow, where he had left it last time. He uncapped the vial and dropped the hair inside, watching as it changed from muddy brown to a rich grey, the exact shade of Sirius’ eyes – Harry knew this, for he had stared into those eyes for hours, losing himself in the constellations they held inside.

Harry breathed in deep and gulped down the brew. He doubled over in pain and felt the all too familiar feeling of his insides burning and his skin melting away like wax. He felt the agony of his bones being stretched a few inches taller. He felt his shoulders painfully broaden, and the tickling of hair growing on his face. He felt long curls tickle his neck and eyebrows.

As the painful sensations came to a halt, Harry sighed deeply. He wasn’t so sure about this anymore. He touched his face and felt the familiar texture of the skin. What was done was done, and Harry knew now he would not be able to stay still for an hour. He got up from the bed and approached the full-length mirror on the corner of the room. In the mirror, Harry saw his godfather. From head to toe, he saw a perfect replica of the man he loved. He couldn’t help but smile a bit, even if he was not real, he was here. Even if he was just Harry. There was a sort of comfort in the figure that presented itself in the mirror, like his presence could still be here somehow, looking at Harry. He inspected his face in the mirror more closely, trying out Sirius’ signature smirk. Something warm spread inside Harry.

***

_“Why are you smiling like that?” Harry asked._

_Sirius had been smirking down at him, as they lay on the couch. Well, Sirius lay on the couch, Harry had thrown himself on top of him, resting his chin on his godfather’s chest._

_“Like what?” Sirius asked, unintentionally deepening his smirk._

_“Like that. Like you want to take a bite out of me,” Harry said, as colour rose to his cheeks._

_“As a matter of fact, I do. And how is it you still blush around me?” Sirius chuckled._

_“I do not!” He blushed further, but laughed anyway._

_Sirius smirked at him once again, his eyes shining._

_“Will you tell me what that smirking is all about?” Harry pressed._

_Sirius faked a dramatic sigh. “I’d rather show you.”_

_“Well… Why don’t you, then?”_

_Sirius sighed again, this time an honest sigh. “The others will be here in a bit… And I’m proud to say I’m not _that_ quick.”_

_Harry laughed and smacked his godfather’s arm playfully._

***

Harry smiled fondly at the memory. Sirius' smile was stunning, and so was his smirk. When he smiled like that, you could tell that behind that aristocratic façade was the young troublemaker just waiting to come out and play. 

Harry touched his face again, enjoying the feeling of his – Sirius' – beard. It was remarkable how alike it felt, not too rough but just enough. His hands travelled down to his neck, caressing it, feeling it, squeezing it. It was breath-taking. 

***

_Harry sat on the floor cross legged next to the sofa with his winter holiday homework on his lap. It was a bit chilly, so he was leaning with his back against Sirius' legs for the extra warmth. _

_"I bet they had these weird ass old books when you were in school," Harry muttered, throwing his Defence Against the Dark Arts book, Umbridge's choice of course, off his lap. _

_"Hey!" Sirius shouted, offended. "How old do you think I am?!" _

_Harry laughed and climbed on top of his godfather, settling on his lap. "Old enough to make this _so_ wrong…" _

_Harry bit his godfather's lip and dragged it between his teeth, making the older man gasp. Harry freed his lip with a quick lick and stared at him with hooded eyes. _

_"Well aren't you cheeky today…" Sirius commented. "You're like a vampire smelling fresh blood." _

_"I am," Harry stated with a grin. "And I can't wait to taste your blood." _

_Harry promptly attacked Sirius' neck with his mouth like a vampire would, sucking it and nipping at it, making his godfather moan. _

_"Harry…" he mumbled, trying to squirm away from the boy. "Stop…"_

_"Why?" Harry asked, muffled by the skin he was still sucking. _

_"You're going to leave a mark." _

_Harry hummed in satisfaction and kept his resolve. Sirius squirmed away and eventually managed to get away from Harry’s hold. The boy admired the spot where he had been biting. It was freckled in red and would soon give way to a nice purple hickey. _

_"You wanker, did it leave a mark? How am I supposed to hide this from everyone?" _

_Harry sniggered. "You're a wizard, you'll figure it out." _

_Sirius narrowed his eyes at him and cursed under his breath. _

_"You like marking me, do you?" Harry nodded playfully. "What if marked you too, huh? Would you like that, you little tease?" _

_Harry nodded once more and was about to answer but was interrupted by a rough kiss and a strong hand around his throat. Sirius kissed him hard and kept a firm hold on him. _

_"You like that?" _

_Harry nodded and let out a strangled moan. Sirius' grip tightened. _

_"You want me to mark your neck so everyone will know you're mine?" _

_"Yes," came the weak reply as Harry closed his eyes and let himself feel the air run out, while his lover's hands seared around his throat. "Pumpkin… juice."_

_Sirius let go of the boy's neck after hearing their safe word. "Good boy," he praised with a naughty smile, adjusting his erection in his trousers. _

_Harry chuckled weakly and learned his forehead against his godfather's shoulder and gently kissed his neck where the reddened spot was. He sighed and started grinding slowly against Sirius' erection with a satisfied smile spreading across his face. _

***

Harry chuckled softly as he remembered the following day. Sirius had been so pissed at him because the love bite had turned a deep purple, and had been very hard to conceal even with the use of magic. In the end, Sirius had to resort to a weird looking scarf he had found on the back of Regulus’ closet, in the shade of what Sirius had called “vomit green”. The whole Order had shot him odd looks throughout the meeting. When it was over, Sirius had said that he’d been dangerously close to telling them “yeah, my godson gave a hickey, happy?” just so he wouldn’t be ridiculed for using that hideous scarf.

His hands travelled further down, reaching the awkwardly fitting t-shirt. He took it off, exposing his slender tattooed chest. He ran his fingers along the black lines and realized that he didn’t know the meaning behind most of them. He wished he’d had the time to ask about them.

***

_Harry entered the dark cave where his godfather had been hiding. He had managed to get away from Ron and Hermione without them noticing his absence. The opportunity presented itself when Ron started an argument over a sketchy wizarding chess move that Hermione had used. Taking his invisibility cloak with him, Harry escaped to Hogsmeade._

_He approached his godfather while still wearing his cloak. The man was staring into the fire in the middle of the cave, apparently brooding. His eyes shone as the flames danced, reflecting in the gunmetal grey surface. Harry sneaked up from behind him and was about to scare him, but he thought twice before doing it. These were not times meant to sneak up on people and scare them. You never knew what reaction they might have – what reaction they needed to have in case it was an actual enemy._

_“Padfoot,” Harry called instead._

_The man turned instantly with a startled expression at first. When he saw no one, he realized who had called him and shot the invisible figure a brilliant smile._

_The boy let the cloak slide to the ground and stepped closer to his godfather. The man seemed a bit taken aback by the proximity. Harry furrowed his brow in confusion._

_“Sorry, I…” Sirius scratched his neck awkwardly. “I’ve been hunting in the woods, I haven’t… I need a shower.”_

_Harry smiled and reached the man’s arms before he could step further back. He held him tight, he couldn’t care less about dirt and smell at this point. This was probably the scariest moment of his quite frankly very scary life. He needed his godfather’s comfort._

_Sirius sighed in relief and hugged him close, nuzzling his wild hair. He’d missed Harry’s boyish scent. Sirius took his godson’s jaw in his hand and studied his features. Harry tried to relax his face, he didn’t need to worry Sirius any further. Hesitantly, Harry stood on his toes and kissed him softly. Sirius kissed back. It was a chaste kiss, one of the first they ever shared. Full of promise._

_“Did something happen? Why are you alone, it’s too dangerous –“_

_“Don’t worry,” Harry shook his head. “I didn’t come to talk about anything. I just needed to see you.”_

_Sirius’ face lit up. “Wish I’d known so I could be more presentable for you.”_

_“You –“ Harry stopped himself. Conveying deep thoughts was weird. Being a teenager was weird. Sigh. “You’re… beautiful.”_

_Sirius chuckled and looked down. Harry instantly regretted saying that – being honest, really. Sirius probably thought him girly for saying something like that, of course he'd laugh –_

_“Thank you,” Sirius shook his head, a look of disbelief on his face._

_Harry’s brow creased again. He wanted to make him smile. A true smile. He wanted him to feel better. He placed his fingers on his godfather’s chest, unbuttoning his robes and exposing his bony chest. Harry resented himself for not bringing him proper meals more often._

_“Can I help you get cleaned?” Harry asked, doe eyed. He hoped his godfather wouldn’t deny him._

_Sirius’ eyes gleamed, he hated to admit he had been too worn down, too tired to wash himself. He needed Harry, it was the only thing that made sense, the only use he had for himself. Harry’s hands on his chest alone made his skin spark. He pushed aside thoughts demanding to know when he had let it come to this, this dirty, reckless, sick –_

_“Please?”_

_How could he deny Harry’s soft voice? Harry’s enticing request? Only a madman would deny him – or was it the other way around?_

_Sirius nodded and took Harry’s hand, leading him to a place on the far end of the cave where he had set up a bucket with clean water, a bar of soap and a dry towel – things Padfoot surely “borrowed” from a random villager._

_"I prefer to bathe in the lake but sometimes it's too cold," the older man explained. _

_Harry grabbed the sponge and dipped it in fresh water. He picked up the soap and started lathering Sirius’ chest with it, as gently as he could. There were small wounds possibly from scuffles he might have had with his prey. He soaped his chest, his stomach and under his arms. Every now and then he would hear Sirius gulp, and he’d feel exhilarated for being responsible for it. He reached for the sponge, dipping it in the water again, and washed away the soap._

_He finished cleaning up his chest and stared at it. Impulsively, Harry licked along the tattoo on his sternum, earning him a gasp. He trailed his tongue along the collarbone, and placed a single bite on it. He felt Sirius tremble. He didn’t really know if it felt good, but it seemed like it would. He moved on to his right nipple and licked it, dragging his teeth over it. Sirius’ fingers raked through Harry’s wild hair, pulling slightly but not enough to keep him away from his current task._

_Harry slid Sirius’ pants down, all the way down to the ground, and kneeled. He picked up the soap again and lathered him, starting from the toes. He soaped his legs, his arse, and reached his godfather’s cock. It was painfully hard and its red head pointed upwards. Harry chose to soap his hands and run them along his cock, making sure to cover the whole length. He looked up and saw that Sirius had closed his eyes and was biting down on his hand._

_“Am I hurting you?”_

_“No – just – shit,” Sirius muttered, not trusting himself to open his eyes._

_“I can stop –“_

_“Please, don’t,” Sirius pleaded, a tone of restrained desperation on his voice._

_Harry gave an experimental tug, just like he did to himself behind the crimson curtains of his four-poster bed, and watched as his godfather exhaled deeply. He kept on fisting Sirius’ thick cock and feeling it pulse in his hand. He could no longer ignore his own desperate erection. He unzipped his jeans and fumbled to get his hands inside his boxers, jerking himself off in time with the pace he kept on his godfather’s cock._

_Finally, at the sight of Harry jerking his own cock, Sirius let go of the hand he had been biting and allowed himself to moan. The boy presented a breath-taking view with his eyes narrowed both in pleasure and concentration, and his mouth just slightly open. He was so close._

_“I’m gonna –“_

_“Me too,” Harry panted, and sped up his movements._

_“No, I’m going to come all over –“_

_“I don’t care, please come.”_

_Harry’s plea was enough to make Sirius come, a loud grunt echoing through the cave. Sirius watched through heavy-lidded eyes as strings of pearly white fluid covered Harry’s mouth and chin. The boy licked up his upper lip to taste his godfather’s cum and shortly after, Harry’s softer grunt joined the echo._

_Harry let himself enjoy the bliss and felt his godfather’s fingers run through his messy hair._

_“Was I good?” Harry asked, wiping his chin with his wrist in an awkward manner._

_“You were great,” Sirius stated, still panting._

_Harry dipped the discarded towel in the water and washed away the soap that lingered on the older man’s legs. He carefully washed away soap mingled with stray cum from Sirius’ cock. He cleaned himself up as well._

_When there was nothing left to wash, Harry stripped off his own clothes. He spotted the lone mattress and walked towards it, lying down on his side. Sirius joined him and lay facing him, stroking his cheek. Harry pressed his body against Sirius’._

_“Can we stay like this?”_

_For a bit? Forever?_

_“Yes.”_

***

That memory alone was enough to awake something inside Harry that had been dormant since the death of Sirius. Heat spread through him, all the way down to his groin. His cock started feeling uncomfortable beneath the jeans that barely fit his body now that it was not Harry’s. He grunted softly as he adjusted himself through his pants. 

His hands went up from his groin to his exposed belly, tracing the tattooed runes. Harry could almost imagine the magic pulsing through them like they once did when their true owner wore them. It made him shiver. He missed the days when he would nuzzle and bury his nose in his godfather’s belly and feel his skin tingle.

***

_Harry put on a grey t-shirt and looked in the mirror on the wall. He tried to fix his hair using his hands, but soon gave up. It was no use, even with a brush the strands would always end up sticking out weirdly. _

_He opened the door of the bedroom he had been sharing with Ron over the last days of summer and saw Sirius standing outside, leaning on the bannister and looking down at the entrance hall. _

_“Morning,” Harry greeted. He presented his godfather with a brilliant smile, one he mostly just used around him these days. _

_“Morning, pup,” Sirius greeted back. “You’re not with Ron?”_

_“No, I think he left to use the bathroom after me.”_

_Sirius looked down at the entrance hall again and around himself. They were alone in the hall, at least as alone as they could be in a house full of Weasleys. He approached Harry with his sleek walk and slid a hand around his waist. Harry pressed closer to his body, feeling its warmth. _

_“Molly sent me here to get you both, she wants to clean up the dining room, it’s crawling with spiders,” Sirius said, leaning his forehead against Harry’s._

_Harry grunted. “I’m sick of cleaning,” he mumbled. “Spiders, you said? I don’t think Ron will be up for that.”_

_Sirius chuckled. “We don’t have to call him just yet.”_

_He moved his hand inside Harry’s t-shirt and pressed his fingers gently in his stomach. Harry squirmed away with an undignified giggle. _

_“Ohh, I see…” Sirius grinned and placed both hands inside his t-shirt, trying to tickle him._

_Harry squirmed away yet again giggling, and managed to disentangle himself from the tickling hands and ran to the far end of the hall. Sirius chased him. _

_“Oh no you don’t!” Harry shouted, turning the game around. He started chasing Sirius, hands like claws in front of him. Sirius made an abrupt turn to get away from those claws but Harry finally got to him, and aimed his hands at his godfather’s ribs, tickling him. The man laughed, trying to pry the hands away, but Harry was quicker and managed to lift his buttoned shirt off to tickle his belly. He tickled him mercilessly until the older man tumbled to the floor, laughing like a madman. Harry swiftly climbed on top of him._

_“Stop it, stop!” he cried._

_Harry kept tickling him, focusing now on the centre of his tattooed belly where he seemed even more sensitive. Harry felt the ink spark beneath his fingers, heat crawling up them. He had just lowered his head towards Sirius’ belly when a feminine voice was heard._

_“Sirius, I asked you one thing –” Molly’s displeased voice could be heard as she climbed the stairs to their hall. She had paused when she saw Harry on top of Sirius, both with radiant expressions on their faces. They froze in place. _

_“Sorry, Molly, we were waiting for Ron,” Sirius stated quickly as she looked at them sideways and huffed down the stairs. “We’ll be there in a sec!” He shouted._

_“Shit,” Harry mumbled. “That was close.”_

_Sirius gave a frustrated sigh and grabbed Harry’s waist with both hands, setting him properly on top of his groin. He moved them lazily._

_“Is it so bad to want you all to myself?” Sirius muttered. “Shit, of course it is, I’m such a fucking –”_

_Harry pressed a hard kiss against his godfather’s lips, not wanting to listen to his rant all over again. He’d had enough of it, he was sick of explaining that he was wrong. The only part he wasn’t sick of was showing him just how many ways he was wrong._

***

Harry couldn’t even begin to count how many times they had almost been caught. By Molly, by Ron… One time he was pretty sure Lupin had caught them slow dancing – slow dancing of all things! – and just pretended to have been called by someone, walking out of the room in a hurry. 

They had tried to be careful. Of course they’d hide whenever they wanted to be intimate, but intimacy didn’t just happen between the sheets. It was so pure, so natural, every time they spotted one another they couldn’t contain the burst of happiness on their insides. They were at war, and what they had was the only thing that made sense, the only thing that allowed them to stay sane. 

Harry turned around and craned his neck so he could see his back. It was now broader and much more toned than what it had been some years ago, and the skin was soft. Molly might have been a pain in the arse around that time but she sure made up for it in nutritious meals. 

***

_Harry arrived at the main fireplace on 12 Grimmauld Place, letting his invisibility cloak hit the ground, and was immediately greeted by strong arms around himself. It had been tricky getting here. He'd had to sneak through a passageway to Hogsmeade and then find a place that had floo network. _

_“I was starting to think you’d been caught.” Sirius’ words were muffled by Harry’s hair._

_“Sorry, it’s just really, really hard to sneak out of Hogwarts now, even with the map.” _

_Sirius’ eyes lit up at the memory of the map. He squeezed Harry in his arms and gave him a heartfelt kiss. He cupped his cheeks and studied his face. He seemed worried._

_“What is it, pup?”_

_“Just – Stupid Umbridge, she keeps giving us detention and she uses…” Harry murmured, looking down. “You know what? I don’t really feel like talking about it.”_

_Sirius hugged him close once again. “I’m sorry. I wish I could just go in there and – “_

_“It’s no use, Sirius.”_

_“I’m sorry I’m so useless. I can’t do anything to help, not while I'm trapped in here. It’s like Azkaban all over again.”_

_A gloomy silence fell around them, turning the air into a heavy mass. _

_“I’m sorry, this is not what I had in mind for us today,” Sirius said, a gentle smile escaping his lips. “We can’t just mope around every day. And I miss you so much. Come here.”_

_Sirius guided Harry up the stairs to the fourth floor. They entered Sirius' bedroom. It was tidied up, probably because Sirius ordered Kreacher to take care of it. The four-poster bed looked freshly made and the room was lit by a variety of red candles that released a sweet cinnamon scent._

_"Mmm, looks nice, all this for me?" _

_"It's the least I can do for you. You've been through so much, I want to make you feel all better."_

_Sirius approached Harry and closed the distance with a passionate kiss, taking his time. As their tongues explored each other, Harry pressed closer to his godfather, rubbing their bodies together. Sirius moved his lips to Harry's neck, nibbling the sensitive flesh. Harry moaned and cupped Sirius' arse with needy hands. The older man started stripping Harry off his clothes, leaving him bare and clinging to him._

_“Let me take off yours,” Harry asked, undoing a button on Sirius’ shirt before the man grabbed him by his wrists and led them away from his body. He clicked his tongue and shook his head, winking at Harry. He swiftly picked Harry up on his arms._

_“Hey!” Harry shouted, laughing. “You’ve been bulking up, Padfoot…”_

_Sirius sniggered. “Yeah, I’m so buff,” he rolled his eyes as he placed Harry on the bed. His features changed from playful to serious. _

_“On your stomach now,” Sirius commanded with a low voice, the kind that always vibrated low on Harry’s groin._

_“Yes, Sir,” Harry obeyed, understanding from Sirius’ tone he was up to no good._

_Just as Harry turned, his beautiful pale arse enticing him, Sirius fetched a black scarf from his bedside table and wrapped it around his godson’s head, covering his eyes. Harry grinned, he liked where this was going. Then, Sirius fetched two black ropes, tying one end of each rope a_ _round the bed poster and the other end to Harry’s wrist. He could only move his legs freely, his arms were firmly tied in place. _

_“Oh but Sir…” Harry used the same voice he would use to address a teacher. “How can I touch you like this?”_

_“You can’t,” the older man replied in a low voice. “You’re mine to touch. You're all mine. Say it for me.”_

_“I’m yours, Sir.”_

_Sirius hummed at the feeling of those words and climbed on the bed, on one side of Harry. He placed kisses all over his back, first gentle ones but he quickly moved on to rougher kisses and bites. He dragged his teeth all over Harry’s spine and ran his fingernails over the soft skin, enjoying the sound of his lover’s moans. Harry could only moan and writhe in pleasure, his sight was a useless sense now. _

_Sirius picked up one of the candles that sat on the bedside table and poured it over Harry’s right shoulder, making him gasp in surprise and squirm on the bed. Sirius’ smile was wicked as he poured more hot wax over his lower back. The man, fully dressed and hovering over Harry’s naked body, blew cold air over the setting red wax. Harry whimpered at the contrast of sensations, hot and cold. Sirius picked up another candle and poured it all over his left shoulder and along his spine, this time dripping it agonizingly slowly. He could see Harry’s back muscles stirring as the searing red liquid hit the flesh._

_“Fuck…” Harry drawled as he buried his head on the mattress._

_Inch by inch, his back was covered in red strings, like an abstract canvas. Sirius looked down with hooded eyes at his work of art and palmed himself through his trousers. Harry lay panting, feeling his back pulse with a pleasurable burning sensation. He tried rubbing against the mattress to allow some friction on his unattended cock but soon felt strong fingers pulling his hair in a show of authority._

_“Not just yet,” the voice told him. Harry growled but promptly stopped trying to rub against the sheets._

_He heard the distinct sound of crumpling of clothes and smiled to himself. He knew Sirius had to have been crawling up the wall by now, sick with desire._

_Harry impatiently lifted his arse up and softly wiggled it, silently expressing his will to be properly fucked into the mattress and hoping to Merlin Sirius would grant him that._

_Sirius chuckled lowly, sliding his boxers down. He got the message, Harry knew he did. He felt the bed shift and skin touching his. Sirius had climbed on top of him, spreading his godson’s arsecheeks as he slowly slid his own cock along his entrance, testing out Harry’s patience. The young man gritted his teeth and closed his hands around the black ropes that held him in place._

_He heard Sirius mutter some words he was too distracted to hear, distracted by the pressure in his groin and the weight of Sirius’ cock in his arse. He felt the coldness of lube slicking his hole and felt a finger push inside of him. He shook his head._

_“No, just – put it in now,” Harry demanded, knowing that was not his place but risking it anyway as desperation took over his senses._

_Sirius grinned at the demand, he loved it when Harry got to the point where he was more than willing to ignore the pain – embrace it even – just to be shagged senseless. He pushed just the head inside, feeling a shiver run through his body as he heard Harry wince and gasp. Harry nodded, so Sirius started inching in slowly. He could not describe how wonderful this felt, how heavenly. Harry, painted red all over his back, blindfolded and tied, and begging to be taken raw._

_“So good,” he faintly heard Harry rasp, while dragging his teeth along the sheets._

_Before he was fully inside him, Sirius started thrusting in and out, getting deeper each time. It was a completely different sensation to stretch Harry up with his hard cock instead of his fingers. It was so tight and hot, engulfing him. He knew Harry loved it like this too._

_Finally he was fully seated inside Harry, and he began thrusting hard, fucking him properly like he knew he needed. Harry’s moans were endless, this time he didn’t have to cover his mouth or muffle his cries. They were all alone and he could scream all he wanted. Sirius’ angle was just right, he hit that spot inside Harry continuously. Soon, Harry was seeing all white instead of black from the blindfold, and came with a loud cry._

_“You’re perfect,” he heard Sirius whisper in his ear before a wolfish growl filled the room. He too came deep inside Harry, feeling every member of his body tremble in pleasure._

_They lay for a while, Sirius stretched on Harry’s back, both panting like mad and sweaty._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos if you liked it or a comment! <3


	3. Chapter 3

Harry closed his eyes as he savoured the memory of being taken like that by his now dead lover. He remembered arriving the castle some hours later sore, both on his arse and his back, and with a silly smile plastered on his face. 

With his right side turned to the mirror, Harry unzipped his jeans to free his erection. He grabbed it firmly, not moving. He wasn’t sure this was right. He knew that love and grief pulsed through his veins but he wasn’t so sure he should let arousal join the party. Arousal was a terrible, terrible thing at times. 

Still unsure, Harry slid his jeans and boxers down and kicked them off. He caught sight of his beautiful arse and the pressure on his cock intensified. He jerked it a few times, looking himself up and down on the mirror, taking in the full image of the man he never thought he’d see again. His arse was toned as always, the skin soft like a peach. He used to love grabbing it, sometimes he even got away with playfully smacking it, but only sometimes. Sirius loved to be the one to have full ownership over Harry’s arse, often saying he claimed it as his to spank and both take pleasure from and give pleasure to. Harry would pretend to pout but deep down it was all he ever wanted. 

***

_Christmas holidays were almost over, and they had been the best Harry had ever had. Holidays at Hogwarts were always fun too, especially because there would always be someone to spy on or some research to be done about the weird things that happened to cross Harry’s path. But this year, at 12 Grimmauld Place, it had been the very best. It had been very emotional - Mr. Weasley’s attack had put everyone on edge, particularly Harry. He had been the one to see the attack through the attacker’s eyes and that scared him the most. _

_But the time he got to spend with Sirius had allowed him to let off some steam and to realise some of his fears were pointless – they were indeed real, but Harry was surrounded by people who loved him, believed him and would protect him at all costs. It had been hard, but his godfather had managed to get that in Harry’s stubborn mind. _

_Christmas was just in a couple of days and everyone – except for Harry and Sirius who had to be cooped up in this house for their own safety – was out shopping for gifts and just generally having a jolly good time in the snow. Everyone had left after breakfast, waving goodbye to a pouting Harry and promising him candy, and Sirius had moved on to the drawing room to finish reading his newspaper “in silence”, as he had stated. _

_Harry went to his bedroom to tidy up his bed. He took a good look in the mirror and fruitlessly attempted to tame his hair. With his hands in his pockets, he lightly whistled down the stairs to wander the house. He found Walburga’s portrait and had a good two minutes of fun poking her in the face to piss her off and hear her delightful shrieking and cursing, until Sirius called him out from the drawing room._

_“Harry, stop pestering the old hag!”_

_Huffing, Harry followed the sound of his godfather’s voice and entered the drawing room. The man had his head buried in the paper. Harry took a good look around the room and sat by the dusty looking piano, jabbing his finger randomly in the keyboard. He heard a quick rustle of the newspaper and sighed once more. He was bored. _

_He moved to the floor and lazily crawled next to Sirius’ crossed legs and nuzzled them, feeling cat like. Sirius carried on reading his newspaper in silence. _

_“Ugh,” Harry grunted and rolled his eyes. _

_“What?” Sirius patiently asked, not taking his eyes of his newspaper. _

_“Nothing,” the boy replied in a bored voice. Silence fell over them once again, and Harry was getting fidgety. Like a petulant child seeking attention. _

_“Cho kissed me the other day, you know…?” Harry finally ended up saying in a fake nonchalant voice. _

_Sirius lowered the newspaper and quirked an eyebrow at his godson. _

_“Cho? Who’s Cho?”_

_“Cho Chang. She’s a girl.” Harry promptly added._

_Sirius’ eyebrow quirk intensified. “You kissed a girl?” He sounded skeptical. _

_“Yeah,” Harry replied defensively. This wasn’t going where he wanted it to. _

_“Okay, I believe you.” Sirius smiled and got back to reading the paper. _

_A minute passed and Harry grew even more restless. “I liked it,” he lied. “Put my hand under her shirt and all.”_

_Sirius lowered his newspaper and raised his eyebrow once more but said nothing. _

_“I might –” Harry paused, smiling naughtily. “I might just ask her to date me.”_

_At that, Sirius very quietly folded his newspaper and set it down on the small table next to the sofa. He breathed in deep. Then, he grabbed Harry’s forearm and pulled the boy to lie on his lap, with his stomach facing down. _

_“Ow!” Harry cried out, trying to conceal a smile. _

_Sirius savagely pushed Harry’s jeans and boxers down to his hips, exposing his pale round arse. Harry squirmed on his godfather’s lap but Sirius kept him in place with strong hands. He struck his godson’s arse twice with his hand, almost growling as he did so. _

_“Ow!” Harry shouted, wincing at the pain. _

_“Shush!” Sirius ordered. “So you think you can tease me –” he struck again and Harry wailed “ – tell me you will get a fucking –” another blow “ – girlfriend! And you expect me not to be mad?”_

_“I said I might –” Another spank. “Ow!”_

_“Is shagging your godfather not enough, boy?” Sirius asked in a low voice, and struck again. Harry’s arse was reddening, and heat emanated from it. Harry could already feel it sting, but each blow got his cock harder. He couldn’t conceal his smile for much longer._

_“It’s not my fault my godfather likes to fuck boys in the arse…”_

_Sirius grunted and smacked him hard twice. “You have a filthy mouth, boy,” he said. _

_“You never complain when it’s around your cock.” Two blows. Harry was enjoying himself and he could feel something poking his belly that told him his godfather was too. A wicked smile escaped his lips and he moaned at the next blow. _

_“You just love to tease me, don’t you?” Sirius asked with his low voice. “You need to have my attention all to yourself.”_

_Harry craned his neck to face his godfather and pouted at him. That earned him another blow and this time Sirius lowered the boy’s jeans further down. He spread Harry’s arsecheeks and squeezed them, making the boy wince in pain._

_“Do you think that Cho girl will do this to you?” _

_Sirius lowered his face down and slowly licked Harry’s entrance. He heard Harry’s surprised gasp and smirked. He licked again, this time going deeper. He never let go of Harry’s arsecheeks as he rimmed him, revelling on the little moans and winces coming from his godson’s mouth. Sirius grabbed his waist and lifted himself up from the couch, positioning himself behind Harry so he could taste him better._

_“Touch yourself,” Sirius ordered, unzipping his own trousers as Harry did the same. _

_Head buried in his godson’s arse, Sirius fisted his cock in time with Harry’s own rhythm. He dug his fingers in Harry’s arsecheeks so he wouldn’t writhe away too far from him. Soon, both were panting heavily and coming._

_Sirius took out his wand and spelled them clean. He leaned against the side of the couch and dragged Harry along with him. Harry settled with his back to his lover’s chest and buttoned his jeans, craning his neck to kiss his godfather sweetly and give him a smile. Sirius stared at him with his usual smirk and cocked his brow. _

_“Were you serious?” he asked. _

_“We did kiss,” Harry admitted, with a grimace. “But it was a shit kiss, it was all wet and gross.”_

_Sirius eyed him carefully, not fully convinced. His mind played tricks with him all the time, maybe he went too far thinking it’d be just the two of them. Harry understood his distress._

_“I’d trade a million of those kisses for one of yours,” he stated, flushing a bit at the confession. He had a hard time communicating his feelings, but he knew all about his godfather’s insecurities and he made an extra effort to assure him. _

_At least that got Sirius to smile a bit and caress Harry’s cheek. _

_“Do you think… This might happen again?” the older man asked, furrowing his brow._

_“What? I loved the spanking, you know that.”_

_“You know what I mean, Harry.”_

_Harry sighed. “I don’t even know why it happened with Cho in the first place. I think we just… Because of Cedric, you know? They were dating when he was murdered and we sort of understood each other. But I don’t like her.”_

_“So you don’t want to date her?”_

_“I don’t. I’m with you.” Harry turned around to lie chest to chest with his godfather, looking him in the eye. “You know I am.”_

_“Maybe… maybe you shouldn’t be.” Sirius rubbed his temple and Harry sighed exasperatedly. “I am so much older, Harry. I’m a fucking convict for Merlin’s sake! What are we doing, Harry? I shouldn’t want you so much, need you so much. Sometimes I feel like I might be sick for wanting you so much.”_

_“But you should. I can’t be without you. I can’t cope with all this shit without thinking that we will be together in the end! Without thinking that it has a point!”_

_Sirius shook his head, tired. _

_“A point, Sirius! You’re the point!” Harry almost screamed in despair. “I’m sorry about before, I was bored and I wanted to get a rise out of you, but I didn’t mean any of it. I love you, I need you so much.” _

_Harry hugged Sirius’ chest tight and crawled up so he could kiss his lips, his cheek, his eyes. Sirius returned his kisses and gave him a weak smile. They would get through this. When this was all over, Sirius would be a free man and he would keep his promise to Harry that they’d be a proper family, if not the kind they first thought they’d be. But they’d be happy. He would do anything for Harry. His Harry. _

***

As Harry relived the memory, he felt an ache in his heart and his groin. To this day, the only way he could understand why this man loved him so much was to understand the reason why Harry himself loved him. 

Harry had felt anxious whenever he wasn’t around Sirius, which had been a lot of times, and miserably clingy whenever he was around him. His touch made up for every lack of contact he’d had over the years. The Dursleys avoided his presence like the plague, and that only served to make him inapt at so many situations - he recalled all the hugs he could have given Ron were he not so awkwardly tense with emotion, all the kind spirited compliments he could have given Hermione every time she proved brilliant. 

Even through all the years of abuse at his family’s hands, Sirius has never lost his kind nature and his ability, as well as his willingness, to praise other people. He showed Harry that feelings and thoughts could, and should be disclosed.

He’d learned to use the expression of those emotions to his advantage at times, like when he was feeling needy or bored - of course he would sometimes get a spanking for it, but that was always welcomed. Harry would be ashamed to admit it, but that was often the reason he said some things to his godfather – so he could get a spanking. Punishments delighted Harry just as much as rewards – in his years with the Dursleys he learned not to fear a physical punishment, as there had been so many, and he had made it his mission to turn them into something that wasn’t so bad so that his uncle Vernon wouldn’t get the satisfaction of hurting him. He could only consider a spanking neutral when it came from his shrieking uncle, but it would be delightful when Sirius applied it with his strong tattooed hands, followed by his lustful voice. 

That morning Harry had left the drawing room with a sore bottom. Every time he sat down to eat a meal or do his homework he would feel the painful tingle spread in his arsecheeks and it made him smirk because he knew who had caused it. It was a reminder of Sirius’ love for him, his welcomed possessiveness. Harry would make a point to be a tease and wince every time he sat down to eat dinner with the large group on the kitchen, looking sideways at his godfather so he could catch a glimpse of his proud reaction. 

In the meantime, Harry’s erection still stood proud as he turned to face the mirror. He was now naked and he was astounded at how eerily and yet arousingly similar he looked. He eyed the glistening head with the same red-almost-purpling colour as Sirius’ cock had whenever Harry decided to be a little brat and not touch his Sir right away. 

He couldn’t help but stroke himself slowly - he never could resist the sight of Sirius’ cock. It was an indescribable feeling to touch Sirius as Sirius himself would, to catch that sight one more time and to be able to feel it from the inside. Sweat formed just above his brow as he struggled to keep a slow pace, eager to stretch this feeling for as long as the potion allowed him to. He threw his head back as his hand gripped tightly around his cock, but kept a firm stare on the mirror in front. He watched entranced as he stroked himself.

***

_Harry had managed to slip away from school with his invisibility cloak using one of the passageways to Hogsmeade. He had talked Sirius into meeting him at Hog’s Head Inn. The older man took longer to agree as he swore to never step foot on it ever again after a particularly nasty encounter with some bedbugs back in the First Wizarding War. ‘If a bedbug crawls up your arse don’t come saying I didn’t warn you,’ he had told Harry through the fireplace._

_Eventually he caved in, as he always did, and a couple of days later Harry found himself passing through the bar and up the stairs to the guest rooms, hidden by his cloak. He searched around for a big black dog, but he was nowhere to be found. Harry called him, a half whisper half shout, but no voice or bark answered. He sat down on the floor waiting for the man to arrive, he could have been late for some reason. Half an hour passed and there was no sign of Sirius. Surely he would have found a way to tell Harry if he truly was late, so naturally Harry jumped to other conclusions. Something could be wrong. Someone could have found Sirius, by now the fact that he was an Animagus had certainly reached Voldemort’s ears. It had been so selfish of Harry to drag the man into this hellhole, risking his life for some hours with his irresponsible godson!_

_Hoping to his feet, Harry quickly searched for the nearest floo, his heart jumping in his chest. In a second he was staring at the dingy halls of the Inn, and in the other he was arriving directly in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. It was empty, which was not unusual. Wand in hand, Harry quietly went up the stairs, pricking up his ears for suspicious sounds. He slowly entered the drawing room, clinging to the doorframe in fear of finding another dead body. _

_He saw Sirius. Alive, though you could only tell by the slow rise and fall of his chest. He was wearing a crumpled robe, no shirt underneath, just his trousers. He was draped over the sofa with a tumbler in his hand, staring at the ceiling. He had the self-pitying lopsided smile reserved only for long drinking journeys. _

_“Sirius?” Harry asked, coming inside and standing in front of the man._

_“Heyyy Pup,” the man greeted, raising his glass at Harry in a poorly coordinated movement. “What are you doing here?”_

_Harry scowled. “He were supposed to meet almost an hour ago.”_

_“Ohhh shit, I forgot. I’m so sorry.” _

_“What’s going on?” Harry had not seen the man drink like this in months. He didn’t drink out of joy, he always drank out of misery. _

_“It’s Moony. He left on another mission. Can you believe it?” He spoke in an amused tone, as if the whole subject was somehow funny. _

_“Er, I’m sorry? That’s not good, is it?” Harry sounded confused. _

_“It’s not. It’s like fate wants to play games with me some more,” he laughed, quite maniacally so. “The last of my friends risking himself day by day. And I’m stuck here, useless as tits on a boar. I can’t protect him and I can’t protect you.”_

_“So we’re going on the self-pitying journey once again? Really?” Harry scowled again. He sat down at Sirius’ feet. “If I’m going to do this I’m going to need some of that.” He reached for the bottle of firewhiskey on the table next to the sofa. _

_"Nooooo, Harry," Sirius said quite eloquently, letting his head fall back with a thump. "Molly says I’m a – I’m a bad influence." _

_"Well, she’s right. What kind of godfather choses to get pissed at home instead of coming to meet his godson and fuck him senseless in a shitty hotel bed? I'd have been offended if I didn't know better." _

_Harry took the bottle in hand and chugged it up, coughing a bit at the end. He’d had beer in the dorms a couple of times, but firewhiskey was a whole other level._

_“I’m sorry I forgot about our date,” Sirius slurred as he pouted. Harry rolled his eyes at him. _

_“I hate it when you get wasted like this,” Harry confessed. He took his godfather’s shoes and socks off and lightly massaged his feet. _

_"Come on, give your old man a break…" he slurred. "I haven't seen you in weeks and now Remus is away too… I'm lonely." _

_How a thirty-six year old man with a moustache and beard pouting like a baby could be this attractive would always be a mystery to Harry. He attempted to scowl but he was pretty sure his true intentions showed through._

_“I’m lonely…” Sirius repeated slowly, pointedly unbuttoning his trousers to reveal his half-hard cock underneath. _

_Harry had known this was coming. Sirius’ wallow in self-pity and long suffering had ended enough times with his godfather being ridiculously horny, so Harry had an idea of how things functioned by now. He was never one to deny the man, even if he always made it a point to show his disapproval in his drunken state. He couldn’t complain either - the man fucked like a beast when he was drunk, which was great. Of course Harry loved Sirius’ controlled, dominant self when he fucked him, but secretly he also loved it when the man lost his self-restraint and poise. But he wasn’t going to give it to him easily this time. _

_“You are?” Harry asked in a mock innocent voice. The older man smiled and nodded his head vigorously. “Really?”_

_“Harryyyy…” Sirius drawled in a frustrated voice, taking his godson’s hand and placing it not very gently on his erection. Harry straightened his face and ran subtle fingers through it, tracing the veins on the underside of his cock. He allowed his godfather to hum and close his eyes before he smirked. He softened his touch so that it was barely a tickle, and he leaned down to blow hot air over his godfather’s cock. The man wiggled a little but kept his eyes closed, confident that his dear godson would devotedly suck him off like the good boy he was. _

_Harry had other plans. _

_He licked a stripe ever so slowly from the base to the sensitive head and he could immediately feel Sirius’ cock harden completely. He presented the head with cat-like licks and soon he could see it glistening. He could hear Sirius hum every now and then, and he saw his face relax. He didn’t want him too relaxed. Harry pushed his godfather’s trousers off and dragged his fingernails all the way from his calves to his thighs, to his groin and swiftly grabbed Sirius’ cock at the base, squeezing it hard and making the man wince. _

_“Oh, you feel like taunting me, do you?” Sirius whispered lowly and bit his lip as he stared at the green-eyed boy. Harry squeezed harder and dropped his gaze to see the thick member reddening at the pressure. He did love to taunt. _

_Harry felt strong hands come up to his head but he shook it before the hands could take a hold of his hair. “None of that now,” he said, and the hands retreated._

_Harry unzipped his own trousers and pushed them down, kicking down his boxers, sneakers and socks as well. He kept his white school shirt and tie. Sirius watched as Harry steadily licked around the head, just barely touching it with his tongue. He gave the thick cock a few tentative strokes and smiled wickedly as Sirius grunted and squeezed his eyes shut. Content with his effect on his godfather, Harry continued licking ever so slowly until he heard the man beneath him sigh. He surreptitiously bit and dragged his teeth on the head of his cock, eliciting a loud moan._

_“That’s it, you brat!” Sirius’ rough hands came up to Harry’s head again, grabbing firm hold of his raven hair and pushing him further down, so that he had no choice but to engulf his dripping cock whole. “I’ll show you some manners.”_

_Sirius began properly fucking his godson’s mouth, and he could feel the smile spreading through Harry’s full mouth. Sirius smirked, knowing all along this was what Harry wanted, but of course he’d let him play a bit. Harry took him deep inside and massaged him with his by now expert tongue, relishing in the flavour of his godfather’s precum. Sirius let go of his hair and pulled him up by the tie, devouring the boy’s mouth with feverish kisses. His hand found a nipple hidden behind the white rumpled shirt and he pinched it as he bit down on Harry’s lip – a small revenge for the bite on his own cock, although he had loved it._

_With Harry writhing on top of him and revelling in the little pinches of his nipples, Sirius reached down and cupped Harry’s arse, slapping it a couple of times for good measure – he had been bad after all, taunting him like that. He tried to clear his mind a bit from the blur the firewhiskey had left so he could spell some lube into his fingers, and he managed it after a second sloppy attempt. Wasting no time he pushed in his index finger, sliding it all the way inside Harry and moving it. His godson groaned and sucked on his neck, clinging to him, and he inserted a second finger in. He couldn’t wait much longer and he knew by the way Harry was moving he couldn’t either. A third finger stretched Harry and moved fast, making the boy throw his head back and scrunch his eyes. Before he had the time to open them, Harry was being spun around to rest his back against Sirius’ chest, his arse aligned with the older man's cock. Sirius moved his fingers back to Harry’s arse but he shook his head. _

_“I’m ready,” Harry gasped out. _

_Sirius moved his hand to his cock instead and spelled some lube again, coating it along the length. Harry pushed his knees slightly up so his godfather would have better access and he felt the thick cock pushing inside him and stretching him further. It was a tricky position, but Sirius was sheathed inside Harry in no time, feeling the warmth all around him. He grabbed Harry’s arsecheeks to gain some leverage and thrusted his hips up, making Harry gasp. The angle was perfect since Sirius’ cock was slightly curved upwards. He immediately started pounding into Harry’s sensitive spot, and they could tell this wasn’t going to last long. It was never meant to be a long slow fuck anyway. _

_Just as Harry started to moan loud, Sirius reached with his other hand to pull on the crimson tie, tightening it further around Harry’s neck. He was babbling nonsense, too entranced to care to find the right words, because there were none. There was only love and arousal spreading through him like an uncontrollable fiendfyre, but the kind you’d never want to put out. Harry placed his hand on top of Sirius’, the one pulling the tie, and his other hand found his own erection, dripping and in need of attention. _

_“Can I?” he asked, because he always liked to give away that power to Sirius. _

_“Yes. Come with me,” Sirius ordered, fucking him faster in a wild trance. _

_It only took Harry a couple of strokes to feel his orgasm reach him, and he focused on the sparks of white-hot pleasure that flowed inside him, clenching hard around his godfather’s cock. He shouted his release and Sirius followed him, his own shout close to a howl. He didn’t stop moving until Harry’s legs were shaking all around him and the boy was breathing heavily on top of him, almost in synch with himself._

***

Breathing fast, Harry stroked himself furiously with heavy-lidded eyes, dropping to his knees. He lost himself in his reflection, lost himself in the long curls and steel grey eyes, the heaving of his inked chest, the stirring of the muscles on his forearm as he pulled himself off feverishly. He didn’t look away from the mirror, even as his eyes started clouding over – either from his impending orgasm or from the welled up tears, he couldn’t quite register. He felt the surge of fire coming from deep down inside his body and he shut his eyes, coming hard, loud choked moans resonating from the tall walls and enveloping him coldly. The moans turned to gasps and as Harry looked in the mirror, they turned to sobs. Tears were running freely down his flushed, bare cheeks. There was no rough stubble, no long curls, no ink. He looked into hollow green eyes, bloodshot and swimming in tears. There were no endless constellations mapped in a grey sky anymore. There was no rune inked chest, only a boy’s soft chest. His seed, spilled all over his stomach and his hands, was his own. 

He tapped the mirror with his clean hand, first lightly as if asking if he could have his – _his – _reflection back, then more forcefully as if claiming it back as his own. He thumped his fist against it and screamed at it, at himself maybe, it was his fault after all for letting Voldemort in his mind in the first place. That's what led to the death of his godfather after all. 

He lay on the floor crying, though he couldn’t be sure how much time had passed. It could have been minutes, hours or days for all he cared. He lay on the floor even when he had run out of tears to cry. The room was dimly lit, the sun had gone down for a while now. He stood up slowly, naked, and searched for his eyeglasses. The empty vial of polyjuice had rolled out of the bed where he had placed it to the floor. Harry kneeled to reach under it, spotting the vial. He squinted a bit. Next to the vial stood a single lock of long curly hair. Harry picked it up along with the vial and smiled to himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos if you liked this story, it does mean the world to me.


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